North or South, East or West, Xanadu-du Is The Best

UPDATE: In light of certain comments made on this post, I have added a few clarifying notes: they are in blue.

I got myself entangled in an utterly bizarre exchange of comments on a blog last week, and I'm using that as an excuse for the lack of recent posts. I urge you to follow this link, read the original post, and then read the comments from I*maginate (the opponent) and Keefieboy (me, the Good Guy). If you haven't wet yourself laughing or died of bewilderment by the end of it, you can have a free copy of my book.*

There is this thing in England/UK, called the North/South Divide (and I'm sure there's a similar thing in Spain, probably called the Costas/Meseta Dividir, and in every country on Earth where the area around the capital city is more wealthy than the outlying regions). In all of these countries, you usually get a situation where intelligent and ambitious people (not necesarily the same set of people) gravitate to where the opportunities and the money are. Norman Tebbit famously summarised this: no work where you live? 'Get on your bike!'

Thanks to globalisation, it has become increasingly easy for anyone from anywhere to move to wherever they want. Thanks to the EU, I could fly into Poland tomorrow and make gazillions as the only plumber in town. I might have to learn how to do plumbing first, but maybe it's optional.

I*maginate's dribblings didn't trouble me much. There is no sense in which I feel inferior to any other Brit (or, indeed, anyone else on the planet) just because I happened to have been born in Durham City and raised in Doncaster, Yorkshire, in the North of England. I have lived in: Weybridge, Surrey; Brighton, Sussex; Leicester; Liverpool (2008 EU Capital of Culture, don't you know); Edinburgh (a very short gig, but I liked it!); Cardiff; Bristol; Bolton, Lancashire; Riyadh, Saudi Arabia; Dubai, UAE; Madrid, Spain.

The question is, where the fuck is I*maginate from? Latest betting is Waziristan, Pakistan (as suggested by an anonymous commenter: I have no personal knowledge/opinion), and she has not yet responded to that suggestion. She's certainly not a Surrey lass.

So, when a (supposed) Pakistani (who lives in Dubai, and as far as I know has no real comprehension of British society - and I only say this because she is very elusive about her origins and background) complains about hearing the word 'Scunthorpe' over the P.A. system at a posh horse race, and then goes on to denigrate a sincere questioner, you have to ask yourself: what planet are you on/from? The Real Nick commented about how weird it was that a Northerner now living in Madrid was having this fight with a (supposed) Pakistani living in Dubai about the supposed English North/South Divide. Weird, indeed.

This all happened on The UAE Community Blog, which is a kind of boxing ring for locals and expats and anyone who has ever had a connection with Dubai to talk tontería and have occasional fights like this. I'm not sure I wish we had something like it in Spain!

CLARIFICATION
I don't have anything against Pakistanis (except those who support the Taliban/Al Qaeda/Musharraf) or anyone, really. I just don't like bad guys. I don't quite know where I*maginate sits: I'm sure she doesn't belong to any of the above-mentioned groups. But it really would be cool if she came out of her little closet and gave a little more information.

I'maginate is definitely off my Christmas card list.

*Documentary evidence required, terms and conditions apply.