Thursday, 22 November 2007

Ah, Inglaterra, Usted Bastardos Inútiles [Oh, England, You Useless Bastards]

I don't usually swear on this blog, but after watching the first half of England's pathetic performance in the Euro 2008 (non) qualifiers, I feel entitled. England were beaten 3-2 tonight by Cerveca Crapasia Croatia. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

This should have been a goal-fest for England. But the soon-to-be-ex Manager Steve McClaren put a child in goal who apparently has never faced a high-speed ball heading his way before, so he ducked out of the way every time one came towards him. Jesú Ache Cristo (as we say in Spain when we want to say Jesus H fecking Christ).

It breaks my heart, really it does. We invented the game! I was nine years old the last time England did anything truly impressive in soccer (we won the World Cup, at home, in 1966, in case your memory isn't that long). Now I'm fifty. How long do I have to live until England's Association Football 'team' actually manages to deliver something?

I'm inclined to agree with the UK Sports Minister who recently said he thought a lot of 'top' players were seriously overpaid. I don't know the ins and outs of them playing for the national team - I suspect they get their travel, accommodation, personal hairdressers and food paid for, and a few quid in walking-around money. Whatever it is, they don't seem to feel any hunger.

I suppose, in a way, it's a relief. Next summer we won't have to watch England doing their usual can we/shall we/ will we/won't we SHITE. We can just watch games played by competent teams and enjoy the football they play. McClaren should never have been given this job.

But the head honchos at the FA. Well. I just don't know. They have develped a spectacular record for choosing Managers who are, at best, Not Much Good, at worst, Total Wankers. So I think the selection of the next Manager should be made by one of these:
a) Some chickens
b) Me
c) Six cuttlefish

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

6 comments:

nzm said...

Looks like you'll have to cheer for Spain who beat Northern Ireland 1-0!

Grumpy Goat said...

So it's the manager's fault then? Not the eleven overpaid clowns on the pitch. I'm glad that's clear.

Who was it who commented that "In the real world they'd be incapable of earning [meaning 'getting paid'] £20,000 a year, let alone a week!"?

I guess you can tell I'm no fan of the Round-Ball game.

leftbanker said...

The beauty of being American is that we have no expectations in this sport and I can readily adopt the Spanish team as my own. Either them or the French team as I'm of French ancestry. I lived in Greece for a while so if they go far in the Copa I could get behind them.

As far as footballers being paid too much, I think they are probably harder to replace than a sports minister. I could probably fake his job quite well but couldn't last two minutes on the field.

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dubaibilly said...

Well Keefie, did you really think that we deserved to qualify after having to rely on Israel beating Russia just to remain in with a chance!

To be honest mate I'm glad they are out of it - maybe it is the wake up call required before they go and humiliate the crap out of all England supporters in South Africa in 2010.

BTW, me and Mrs Dubaibilly are having a Greek night tonight - won't be the same without you and better half though.

Cheers for now

DB

Jin said...

Time to switch to rugby keefie :-)