Sunday, 13 April 2008

Never Mind The Bollocks. Pvnk.

At last week's Madrid Writer's Group meeting, I was involved in a conversation between two of the members. They were wondering who was the first person to say the word 'fuck' on television, and suspected it was to do with the Sex Pistols. I had to step in: I thought it was Kennneth Tynan - and I was right, clever old me. But then I had to tell my Sex Pistols story.

The Sex Pistols became notorious after their appearance on the 'Today' program hosted by Bill Grundy (broadcast in the London area only) . After an apparently inebriated Grundy had made a pass at Siouxsie Sioux, the following dialogue ensued between SP member Steve Jones and Grundy:

Jones: You dirty sod. You dirty old man.
Grundy: Well keep going chief, keep going. Go on. You've got another five seconds. Say something outrageous.
Jones: You dirty bastard.
Grundy: Go on, again.
Jones: You dirty fucker.
Grundy: What a clever boy.
Jones: What a fucking rotter.

This was in 1977: the olden days. Subsequent to that, the Sex Pistols became more famous than God and were banned from performing pretty much anywhere in the UK.

As luck would have it, in the summer of 77, Ratbag (ex-gf) and I were going on holiday to Penzance in Cornwall. About as far from anywhere in the UK as you can get. Before we set off, I had read in the NME (New Musical Express - my weekly bible at the time) that a band called SPOTS were embarking on a national tour. They hinted that the name stood for 'Sex Pistols On Tour Secretly.' When we got to Penzance, I saw posters for SPOTS at the Winter Gardens. Woo-hoo!

We got tickets, and queued in the rain for the doors to be opened. There were kids in the queue who had ripped their best school shirts and dyed their hair blue or pink. The dye was not waterproof, and they had streams of blue or pink staining their faces and shirts. Nobody in the audience looked like a punk. But the guys on stage did. We all knew we were witnessing something historic, and it was no surprise when we discovered that they couldn't play their instruments (actually it was only SidVicious who really couldn't play), and the singing was somewhat crap.

So now you know; cuddly old Keefieboy is a closet punk.

9 comments:

Jayne said...

So you gonna show us yer piercings then keefie! (now, where did mamaduck put that big safety pin?)

Going back to 'those days' (*coff*) I remember being quietly horrified when Ian Dury & the Blockheads started the one song with "arseholes, bastards, fucking cnuts & pricks"! Didn't take away the fact that the music was brilliant :-)

Guest said...

Stranglers at the Rainbow, Finsbury Park. Life altering experience.

Remember the bloke that threw a brick at his TV in response to the Grundy Show? Brilliant. You can actually watch it if you're feeling nostalgic - it's on YouTube... :)

alexander said...

'Guest' is me. Forgot to log out after posting a guest review at The Fat Expat.

Technology...

*sigh*

Keefieboy said...

Jayne: I just had the traditional one earlobe pierced. But it's better now.

Alexander: The Stranglers at Doncaster Odeon!

Grumpy Goat said...

I once attended a gig at the Fleece and Firkin in Bristol. The Macc Lads were playing their own particular brand of thrash-metal-punk-rugby-singalong songs.

I remember a young lady being encouraged to reveal all. She was sitting on top of one of the speaker stacks, and everyone sang, to the tune Cwm Rhondda:
"Get Your T!ts Oot For The Lads!"

The band and audience had, of course, taken refreshment.

Graeme said...

Well some of them are still going, in the last couple of years in Madrid I've seen The Buzzcocks, The Rezillos, The Mekons, Marky Ramone and The Undertones. I think we even get the reformed SPOTS at one of the summer festivals this year.

alexander said...

The Rezillos. Oh My God.

Amazing...

DXBluey said...

for reasons best left untold - I have the original copy of the amendment letter that EMI dropped the Pistols from their contract in '76. Signed by each of the band and McClaren... it may be my most treasured possesion and almost unique...

Keefieboy said...

Goatboy: Fleece And Firkin - used to know it well!

DxbBluey: You don't get away with it that easily: the story must be told.