Getting Better at Not Being Robbed

What a great title, eh? But if you've been following the plot, you'll know that MamaDuck and I have been robbed a great deal more than you might consider to be reasonable since we moved to Madrid last August.

MamaDuck reports that she spotted a robbing crew on a Metro train a few weeks ago, and gave them such dirty looks that they had to move down the carriage to find a new victim.

Last week in a local pub, the friends I was with had not one, but two laptops with them. The bags were placed between my buddy and his girlfriend, but he went to the little boy's room, and when he came back he sat between the two laptop bags. The approaching robbing crew was spotted by his girlfriend: they were very clearly aiming for the bag on the outside. My buddy moved the laptop bag and the thieves made a swift exit.

Today we had a truly remarkable experience. We were having lunch in a very pleasant restaurant in Lavapiés. Just after the main courses arrived, a waitress ran up to MamaDuck and said she thought her bag had been stolen. Yes, indeed it had. For fuck's sake. She ran out of the restaurant. I followed after putting on my jacket (my jacket is now effectively my wallet: it would be just too ironic to run off chasing a thief, only to find my jacket had gone for a walk)

We ran down Calle Argumosa. Yelling, shouting. It was a fine day and there were many people sitting at tables on the street. Some of them got up and went for a run. We never saw the thief, and gave up the chase about halfway down the street. MamaDuck returned to the restaurant, I continued down the street a bit. And then a miracle happened. A man came up to me and presented me with MamaDuck's bag. Unbelievable! I walked back up the street, holding the bag high. Somebody said 'local hero!' and everybody started to clap as I walked past them. Lovely, it was. MamaDuck was somewhat stunned and amazed to get her bag, and its contents, back.

It's only a matter of time before we actually catch one of these worthless assholes in the act. Expect extreme violence. Possible jail time. Because we're not putting up with this shit no mo'.