Tuesday, 21 July 2009

New Spanish Words

I learnt two new words of Spanish today, cerradura = lock (lit 'close hard') and cerrajero = locksmith.

Why? I hear you ask. Well, MamaDuck's handbag was stolen today. It contained her phone, credit card, sunglasses, other stuff, and keys to the house. It also contained a few bits of paper that had our address on.

She reported the theft to the Police, got a report and set about cancelling the credit card and mobile account. Given that the thief not only had the keys, but also the address, I set about getting our front door lock changed, hence the new vocabulary. We now have a lovely new cylinder in our door (85 Euros including 5 keys and installation).

Amazingly, we've just had a visit from two nice young Policias, returning the handbag. All intact except for the credit card, the shades and the phone. So the thief got virtually nothing - the card was maxed-out and is now cancelled, the shades were scratched, the phone was a freebie from Vodafone. But we've shelled out 85 Euros for a new lock, wasted half a day chasing round fixing things, and will now have to buy new shades and a new phone.

I have to admit to being a little bit disappointed. I was planning to spend tomorrow here in the dark with the blinds down. When I heard the thief trying to get the key into the lock, I was going to rush him with the blunt end of our broom, push him down the stairs and nick his wallet. If necessary, the ironing board is strategically placed by the door for a more serious attempt at achieving unconsciousness. Failing that, I know where the sharp knives are.

I have to say, I have nothing but contempt for these people. What fucking planet are they on? Why do they think it's okay to take other people's property? I mentioned our unfortunate propensity for being robbed to an Ecuadorian lady once, and asked her what she thought. She shrugged, and said 'you are obviously Gringos, so you are rich, so it doesn't matter to you.' Hmm, can't deny the first point. Completely, utterly, galactically wrong on the second two.

This kind of crime is usually blamed on Romanians and Roma/Gypsies/Pikeys. We can tell you with the voice of more experience than most that Latinos are actually the ones to watch.*

*Racist generalisation, not all Latinos are thieves. Investments can go down as well as up. May contain nuts. Although Romanians and Roma need to be treated with extreme caution. Disagree? Sue me.


Grumpy Goat said...

"I was going to rush him with the blunt end of our broom"

A whole new meaning to the term "Wash and brush up."

Colin said...

Keith, I'm perverse. I agree but am still going to sue you. Well, tie you up in the Spanish courts for the rest of your life . . .

PS Very sorry to hear of your latest loss. You do seem to be unlucky. Or very careless . . . Have you thought of making your next book "How to lose your possessions in Madrid". You culd then bring out a Barcelona edition if this was successful.

I speak as someone had his laptop nicked on his last visit to the capital but was incredibly lucky and got it back from the (Romanian) bitch who took it.

Jayne said...

Jeez keefie, this nickin' lark is getting beyond a joke innit? Glad mamaduck wasn't hurt tho.

Seabee said...

I have to agree with your contempt for the bastards Keefie.

Having or not having isn't the point. I - and I'm sure you - have worked fecking hard for what I have. It didn't grow on trees and I didn't steal it from someone else, I bloody worked for it.

Then some thieving lazy bastard thinks he has a right to it because he's a have-not.

Mme Cyn said...

That stinx. You two have had the worst luck with the thievin' b@st@rds... I'm glad it hasn't soured you on Spain, though.

nzm said...

Shit - that's not good news. :-(

Come to Barca - it might be safer here now! We don't know why, but the number of pickpockets and street thieves has suddenly decreased. We hardly see any on our trips now, whereas we used to see at least 4-5 per hour about 2 months ago. I think that the coppers here have decided that drug dealing is a better way to make money.

Jen was reading an article yesterday about an organised theft gang who are robbing apartments in Spain. The guys doing the thefts are breaking into at least 3 apartments each day. They are from Ecuador with the gang heads in Switzerland!

Lee said...

They rob tourists because they think you won't report it or press charges. They don't count on crazy ladies like me who live in the downtown tourist area, know who the pickpockets are, and scream at them and warn tourists constantly.

Oh, and they're not that very bright, anyway.